The following are some of the mantras that I live my life by, tactics that I use, approaches to problems and attitudes that I have tried to instil in my core. I have made more mistakes than you can "shake a stick at" and am no ones idea of a guru. My own numerous mishaps, external factors, events and other people can get in the way, but these concepts have all proved useful in the past, will do so again and hopefully can be for you :-
"Decide what experiences in life you must and want to have, then get them, no matter what your budget" - We all have different needs and desires, on top of the basics that are universal (health, love, shelter, security and sustenance). In my case, I need good food, interesting experiences, to meet friendly and positive people from a range of cultures, to occasionally party like I am 18 again, to be mentally, physically and emotionally stimulated and to play beautiful golf courses. In the past, I have flown business class, eaten in Michelin star restaurants, stayed in 5 star hotels, played expensive golf courses and drank in very high end bars and clubs. All of this was great, but I have learned that apart from the occasional treat, there is really no need to do this, as there are plenty of ways to get high quality experiences, for low monetary output in all sorts of areas and to name a few, Travel, Food, Accommodation, Meeting great people, Partying and Learning.
"Yes Theory" - I have gone "off the beaten track" and seen parts of the world that many outsiders and definitely the average tourist will never see. To name only a few - I enjoyed the fantastic hospitality at shanty towns in Barbados. Partied until 9am in the ghetto outside of Madrid only populated by immigrants from Equatorial Guinea. Was fed by a lovely family in a hut in the middle of nowhere Zambia, whilst their eldest son drove my car 100 miles to get it fixed. Got drunk during breakfast with the owner of a pub in rural Ireland hours before he legally opened. Got taken to a fish restaurant in southern Thailand that was 30 miles away from the nearest town, just because the guy I had met 10 minutes earlier (rightly), told me that it was the best around. I danced the night away at a "Bario Fiesta" in one of the most dangerous parts of the city after chatting to 2 Mexican guys at a swanky bar on South Beach and asking the question, where is the real Miami? I am actually quite risk averse, so these incredible experiences did not happen because I was brave or stupid (though I can certainly be the latter). They happened because I am a naturally positive, friendly and inquisitive person. I have found that, no matter what country or culture you are in, if you are nice to people, try to speak a few words of their language, compliment them and their surroundings, engage with them and ask about their lives, many will respond with openness and generosity. If you do that often, then a certain percentage of the time, they will ask you if you want to see another part of their lives, which could be their home, a favourite place, a party, a meal or a wide range of situations that they love, but that you have never seen before. Say "Yes" to those experiences, as you will probably never get the chance again and the memories that they forge will last forever. No, I do not say "Yes" to everything. Obviously, there are bad people out there with intentions to scam, steal or worse. Be aware of your surroundings, think hard on your judgement of the people who you are talking to, have an exit plan and if you see a bad mood or situation developing, politely and swiftly walk away.
"Work on your mental and physical health, as it does not happen on it's own" - I have battled injuries and genetic joint conditions for over 2 decades and am regularly rehabbing them, so no one could accuse me of looking the picture of health. If I am lucky, I am in half decent shape for a few months, each year. My over indulgence of sugar and alcohol also impede my health and body shape goals, (boy do I love a wide variety of spirits and sweet mixers). I therefore appreciate pain free days more than many other people do, and no matter what country I am in, try to be as physically active as I possibly can. Creating the right environment for this makes it a lot easier to "pull my finger out" and do what I need to do. Walking along the beautiful promenade that I live close to at my house in the south of England helps, being a member of a golf club there also does. I will walk the course to watch friends play, even if I am not able to swing a club myself. Paying to be a member of a gym is a great way for someone like myself, who hates to waste money, go there and actually use it, even if only to stretch and do a bit of cardio. Every hotel that I stay at overnight or apartment that I rent out for months, must have a pool and a gym as there is nothing like the feeling of walking out of your front door, to go for a swim in the sunshine. I see the process of paying for regular physio and massages, as an investment in myself and not an expense. My mental health is very much linked to my physical wellbeing. I try not to let the physical problems get me too down too much, though they definitely can and have done so. I make sure that I am appreciative and happy during those, all too short, good health periods. If I were to ever struggle for an extended time with my emotions, then I would not hesitate to seek professional help. My tactics of talking to friends, starting a new project to focus my mind on something else or changing my environment and circumstances, have served me well in the past, but there are "many ways to skin a cat".
"Do not keep junk" - I am somewhere on the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder spectrum, so am more than happy to have as few possessions and stuff lying around as possible, as it engenders a clean and tidy environment to live in and declutters my mind too. Except for my house and spartan furniture, all my worldly possessions fit in a suitcase, a laptop bag and a golf bag. This makes travelling very easy by the way. No, you probably should not be as anal as I am, but the next time you look around your home, in storage space, the attic, the garage, under your bed and so on, ask yourself how long ago it was that you actually used that article of clothing, electronic gadget, pair of shoes, etc and when you are likely to use it again.
"Cut negativity out of your life as much as possible" - The world is full of beautiful light or murky dark situations, good or bad people and acts of great love or stunning evil. Most of life is lived somewhere between those extremes. To keep bad information out of his life, a very good friend of mine simply does not watch or read the news and this works great for him. I do the opposite of that, as am an avid reader of current events, politics, history and many other things that could easily jade my view of humanity. However, I try to focus on the good, block out as much of the bad as possible, (whilst still being very cognisant of it), and keep anyone that might bring any negativity into my life either out of it, or at arms length.
Be Grateful - So many of us (myself included sometimes), can fall into the trap of not remembering just how lucky we are compared with the billions of people who struggle every day for the essentials needed just for survival. I regularly complain about certain idiotic and or corrupt politicians who have so much control over our lives, or the greedy and nasty individuals that run many large corporations and any number of topics that I have very little influence over. I do however, on a very regular basis, state how fortunate I am to have the life that I do and that for all my good choices, luck has played a massive role in my happiness.
Celebrate as many victories and successes a possible, no matter how small - I take this approach to an extreme degree and of course, many people find it strange or perhaps even a bit crazy, that I get so happy and enthused about very small things going right for me and those I am with. I completely agree that it is quite childlike to do a little dance on my car seat when a traffic light turns green at the perfect time, or to applaud for several seconds when a friend makes a good shot on a golf course, or to whoop and holler when the sun comes from behind the rain clouds that have ruined the day so far. A little childish happiness never hurt anyone. It made me feel good and when it puts a smile on the face of those around me, then our collective days have just got a bit better. On the larger scale than my silly little examples, when we make steps in the right direction in our lives, we really must embrace and savour them. We don't know when the next one will come along, but that positive affirmation really does increase the chance of them happening more often.
"Show everyone the respect that you would want, no matter what their socio economic status" - I am always amazed when I don't see this simple act of courtesy being practiced by others. I makes me really cross in fact. I am no saint and you really do not have to be, to live by this simple credo. I have met so many people around the world that are "below" me on the ladder, but it was soon obvious that some were far smarter and better people that I could ever hope to be. Quickly and negatively judging a book by it's cover is a pretty stupid trait that so many people seem to have.
The above are very much my own concepts, (though not original and with borrowed aspects), that I have developed over time. The below are a list of some of the excellent tips I have read or heard from others, that we could all do with trying to implement as much as possible in our lives :-
1. Judging people too harshly / quickly can reflect badly on us in the eyes of others and lead to a a negative mindset within our our self.
2. Mute or unfollow any social media that doesn’t bring joy or inspiration.
3. If you’re unhappy about something, change it. If you cannot, change your mindset. - There are plenty of ways to "look on the bright side" or see the "silver lining" of a situation, even a pretty bad one.
4. It is better to spend time alone, than with the wrong people.
5. Do not be afraid to say “No”.
6. With any health goal, work on achieving improvement rather than perfection, as this is often not attainable and can be destructive to other parts of our life.
7. The secret to being liked by others is quite simple. - We have 2 ears and one mouth, so let other people talk more than you. - I can be very guilty of this......
8. Fall asleep thinking about all the things that went well that day.
9. Feeling overwhelmed? Taking control of how you spend the first 30 minutes of your day will make you feel in control of the rest of your day. - "Start the day the right way".
10. DO NOT compare yourself to others. - You are only seeing a snapshot of their lives. You might have things far more together than they do.
11 - Incremental progress. - Don't kick yourself if you do not progress at a rapid rate in whatever it is that you are trying to achieve. All those little milestones compound over time.
12 - Visualise the future that you want and the success that you desire.
13. SLEEP......